Food Will Always Be Asian Parent Love Language

A few weeks ago, I’ve been struck with the concept of Asian parent love language. Since I’m not too busy with my daily job recently, I’ve been cooking much more than usual. Until I told my mom that I had an idea about what if I tried to prep meals for my brother and me so that she doesn’t even need to cook for us for some time. And what did she reply? “If so, that means I just cook for our helper and driver? Really? Or in Indonesian “Jadi mama masak buat pembantu sama sopir aja gitu?!” Of course, I was shocked by that answer. I thought she’d reply to thank me or whatever to make her job easier, but it was real. Food as a love language of Asian parents was real.

To be honest, I’m not the kind of person that would do some critical thinking about some issue that’s going on, like deep thinking and analyzing whatsoever. But this was different. It was personal to me. When I tried to throwback to my childhood (which I didn’t even remember that much), food was soo personal to me. I remember the time when I was in junior high school just thinking of what food will my mom brought to me in the middle of class. Literally, at that time I was just waiting for the bell to ring so that I can eat my mom’s dish that she delivers to me. No doubt I got pretty much weight in my high school era. I even still remember the taste of the shrimp mayo dish that she made for me, it was absolutely a mood booster for all that I’ve been through. I also remember how she made spaghetti bolognese which was not traditional at all, separating spaghetti from the sauce itself, I believe maybe because of some of ads back then. And one more, I still remember how much food she brought me when I was in boarding school in senior high school back then. It was a looooot. Cake, all snacks, canned milk, and everything that you could pronounce what we love when we’re in high school era she brought it all. And some cake as well. Man, I remember some of my friends will always be waiting for me in my room when my parents just go back home. For what? Of course, eat the food that she brought to me! LOL!

Speaking generally, I think this culture (yes, in my opinion, this is culture) formed a long long time ago, with every single human life factor affecting it. Realize it or not, food has always been our universal language for all of us. Who doesn’t eat in their whole life? Every human being must eat to fulfill their belly to live their life. What we eat has really been affected by our ancestor culture, religion, and where we live, even globalization has a role in it. Pretty much soo many important discussion has always happened in the dining room. That’s a whole big world that we can explore to know that, and I believe it could help us to reflect on many things that we’ve been doing up until now, remembering all of the revolution and evolution that has happened and forming who we are now.

Throwing back and analyzing it more, I believe from all of my vacation or just holiday escape with my fam, food always be the centerpiece of us. Food is somehow the unspoken witness of all that me and my family’s been through together. I’m solid that I could say that because I’m 100% sure that there’s no escape or something like that that my parent invitation to some places to just enjoy nature for instance, or anything besides to try some new foods or some comfort food of all of us, or a specific member of us. Without food as one of our “glue”, I don’t think we could possibly be this get along with each other, and in a general way, maybe Asian families (yes, maybe because you know, there are vast variables out there).

Coming back to what my mom has said before, I’m still wondering how much love she gave my family through food. Every single day since me and my brother were kids, she always cook many wonderful dishes up until now. Yes, it’s not that fancy at all, but that’s not what I need for home food. I need it to give me a big warm hug that helps me through all of the things and emotions in my life, and I really think that she is a successful person for that. However, every rose has its thorn. If you could put your shoes on me I bet you already know that. This “food as a love language for my parents” somehow makes me wonder if I cook for our meal for instance, is it gonna steal some love that my parents or my mom specifically think she should give to me? Or is it gonna make her job easier as a mom? I don’t know for sure, but I bet the answer depends on the situation. Idk, let just it be like that, and I hope it’ll bring more joy than every con that I could ever think of. Peace :)